So that you Understand
by dreamer3E3E
Summary: Although things seemed to have returned to "normal" when Cammie returned after her summer seeking answers, her world turns upside down when she finds that her best friends are missing. Can Zach and Cammie find them? What is Zach not telling her? Zammie! :
1. Chapter 1: Revenge

**A/N: I tried really hard to mirror Ally's writing style so it seems more realistic so I hope you guys enjoy! Please review if you have the time :) I would love to hear what you guys think so far!**_  
_

* * *

_Maybe it was because it was nine-thirty seven in the morning and classes had already begun._

_Maybe it was because they were serving waffles in the dining hall that morning._

_Maybe it was just a lack of consideration on my roommates parts_, and that was why I woke up to a silence that surrounded my roommate-less suite. I had overslept, and for a Gallagher Girl who goes to a school for exceptional young women, this was not something that happened. Ever.

Unacceptable.

A second later, my feet hit the ground, and in the next, I was running from one end of the room to the next, grabbing my uniform in one hand and my books in the other, I stumbled into them and hobbled out the door.

"Thirteen seconds." I muttered to myself, surprised. "A new record."

Then without giving any thought as to how much of a disaster my hair must have looked (something Macey would surely point out later) I took off down the hall.

Sublevel 3.

"Oh, Cameron, thanks for deciding to join us," I could hear Aunt Abby's voice following behind me along with a dozen sets of eyes but I refused to look up as I made my way to the only empty seat available next to Tina Walters.

"So, I'm going to demonstrate to you all…" Aunt Abby said, but I wasn't listening. I was only scanning the room for my best friend, one out of the three people I had trusted to wake me up that morning.

But Bex was nowhere to be seen.

My eyes wandered to where Zach was, and found him watching from the corner of his eye.

_Where is she? Where is Bex, Zach?_ I looked at him, searching for answers in his eyes. I found none.

"And that is it for today, I'm afraid. Make sure you all complete that assignment by the next time we meet. You'll be needing it." And with that, class was over.

_Well crap_. I thought. I had totally not been paying any attention. But that was not the problem. As soon as the last of my classmates filtered out of the room, I launched myself out of my chair toward Zach who was waiting for me by the doorway.

"I didn't know Gallagher Girls were the type to sleep in," Zach said with a smile, "What happened, did you have some sort of…crisis?" he laughed as his eyes wandered to my hair, and then back to my face. He stopped smiling then, and his voice got lower, "What's wrong?"

What's wrong? What's _wrong?_ If there was ever a time when I ever questioned Zachary Goode's abilities, it was in that moment. I looked at him, in disbelief.

I pointed my finger at him.

"Spy," I said, still staring at him.

A few seconds passed with out either of us speaking and then he nodded.

"Bex," He said, "And Macey and Liz." We were moving now. Zach, a few paces ahead of me as I tried to keep up. And as we passed the spot where Gillian Gallagher's sword lay, I noticed something out of the corner of my eye that made me stop. There was a folder. It was all too familiar. My heart sank as I picked up the two chunks of paper that sandwiched the words I dreaded seeing.

I opened up the flap, and there it was, an answer. It was not the answer I had been looking for, but an answer nonetheless.

_Maybe it wasn't the waffles. Maybe it wasn't because I had overslept, because that never would have happened if my best friends in the whole world were there to wake me up. Maybe it was nine thirty-seven when I woke up for a reason._

_Maybe this was revenge._


	2. Chapter 2: Alone

Pros and Cons to having your best friends missing.

Pro: There really are no pros

Con: You feel alone and helpless in your empty 4-person suite

Pro: Maybe you're not so alone when you're extremely good-looking boyfriend comes to visit you at night.

"What are you doing here?" I asked staring at the reflection of the figure who stood behind me in the doorway. The room was dark, but there was just enough moonlight that filtered into the room that I could make out Zach's face staring right at me.

I whirled around and walked past him to the window.

"They're gone, " I said, turning on the lamp positioned behind my bed. But the second I turned it on, I wished so much that I hadn't. Tears were welling up in my eyes, and he was the last person I wanted to see me cry. If I did, then I would expect him to take me in his arms and hold me until this trembling that was growing stronger inside of me had stopped. But ever since last summer, things had never really gone back to the way they once were; especially not with Zach. And in that moment I knew that what I expected and longed for so desperately would not happen. So I did what Gallagher Girls are trained to do: I lied.

"I'm really fine, you know," I said, turning to him. I smiled. "I'll find them. It'll be okay."

"Gallagher Girl," Zach whispered, as if he were afraid that the volume of his voice might scare me. He took a step forward.

But then I knew, the reason he spoke so softly was because he was afraid I might break. I was fragile. He couldn't care less if he was caught in my room in the middle of the night. What scared him the most was that he could offer no words, no answers that could put me at ease.

"We'll find them," he said, finally filling the silence. "We will."

The space in between us was gone then, and the next second his hands were in mine. He gave them a tight squeeze and looked at me. Really looked at me. The light shone right into his eyes, and I could see myself reflected in them. I was crying.

Freeing one of my hands, I brought it up to my face and brushed away the tears that had begun to fall without my knowing.

"Zach," I said, unable to stop my voice from shaking, "Zach, why are they doing this to me?" I was angry then. Furious. My hands balled up into fists and I was shaking my head. "It's all my fault."

I think Zach wanted to touch me then, pat my head and tell me it was okay because I felt his hand leave mine and make contact with my head for a split second before it was gone. And then the words I wanted to hear so much didn't come. Instead, for the first time since I've known Zach, his voice shrank, and the words he spoke stumbled out like he was about to cry.

"You need to understand."

And then the world went black.


	3. Chapter 3: There's no turning back

I must have fallen asleep because I awoke the next morning with the sheets thrown off of me and my pillow on the floor.

A bad dream.

Or was it?

I looked around the room, only to see that my roommates' beds were still empty.

And I was still alone.

_Zach._ He had been with me last night. He was there. For the first time in months, that was the closest I had been to him. I missed him when I had left, but nothing could explain why I've never missed him more than I did right then. Especially since he was right here in Gallagher with me.

I turned my attention to the window where much to my horror, much more sunlight than I was used to seeing in morning was streaming in. I looked at the clock.

Ten thirteen. I had overslept. Again. If there's one thing a Gallagher Girl _shouldn't _do, it's make a mistake. Now, if there's one thing a Gallagher Girl _doesn't _do, it's make the same mistake twice, and that is what I, Cameron Morgan, had just done, which made me possibly the worst spy ever.

I grunted, getting to my feet, and threw on my uniform. My hand reached out to grab for my books, but I stopped myself. Today, I wouldn't need them. Today, I was going to disappear. And that's just what I did.

.

Until I found myself face to face with Zachary Goode in one of the more cramped secret passageways. _Oh boy. Literally._

"So you're skipping class now, I see," Zach said, a smile forming at the corners of his mouth, "What's it going to be tomorrow? Secr—" I didn't know what he was going to say next because I had stopped him then. My hand cupped over his mouth, I leaned closer.

"Why are you here?" The words shot out of my mouth much harsher than I had intended them to.

"Whoa there, Cammie, I was just joking around."

"Well can you joke around somewhere else, because I need answers." I tried to crawl past him, but I couldn't even see past his broad shoulders to the tunnel that lay beyond.

"Please move."

"No."

"Well you can just—"

"Cammie, I can't. I would, but I can't.

"I'm not turning around, you know, so you're just going to have to go the other way. You may be a student here now, but I've been here longer so technically—"

I stopped then, because Zach was giving me the _Wow, really? Are you ten? _look and I didn't like it.

"Why are you here, Zach?" I sighed, leaning over onto my side. My knees had begun to hurt from crawling.

"Well, why are _you_ here, Cammie?" My face must have been very unpleasant then, because he backed off.

"You're not the only one who's looking for answers."

I froze. He was right.

Just as Bex, Liz, and Macey were my friends, they were his friends now, too. And just as I was sitting here in the cramped, cobweb filled passage, determined to find them he was there too, right where I was, facing me.

Going back the way he had came, in the opposite direction.

Which meant only one thing: he had already found what he was looking for.

Suddenly I knew that the question I should have been asking him wasn't _Why are you here? _But instead it was _Where are you going, and what do you know_?

Seconds passed, and all I could do was sit and stare, soaking it all in.

_How did he feel when I left? _I wanted to know, because ever since I came back, I was under the impression he didn't care for me _in that way _anymore.

"I have to go," he said, suddenly serious.

I wanted to ask him a million things in that moment.

_Why are you here? Where are you going, and what do you know_?

But when I opened my mouth to speak, the words that came out of my mouth weren't what I was expecting, nor was the voice that left my lungs.

"Why aren't you telling me anything?" I said, my voice a broken whisper.

I guess that was all he could take, because he gave me the most pained expression before his eyes shot down to his hands that gripped the cold concrete beneath us.

And that was apparently all I could take, too because I turned around and crawled away without waiting another second for a response.

Not that I was expecting one.

_Cammie, wait._

Was that my imagination? I didn't know, nor did I stop. I just kept going. I wasn't going to wait, not for some boy named Zachary Goode. Not when I was Cammie, the girl who had broken his heart. I wanted to be Gallagher Girl—invincible, in control, and capable of finding her friends. But most of all, I wanted to be Gallagher Girl, the girl Zach knew just months before; the girl _I_ knew. The girl I _was._

_ You need to understand._


	4. Chapter 4: I'm so sorry

It certainly wasn't what I intended to do, as unlikely as it seemed. I was his girlfriend after all (or was I?) and I was considered crazy by more than half of the student body so why wouldn't I be standing in the middle of Zach's room?

Just seconds before, I had been looking for a place to hide from what looked like my Aunt Abby walking down the end of the hallway towards me. Before I knew it, I had ended up in here. The weird thing was, I didn't even know it was Zach's room. It never crossed my mind to even look for it before.

I stood there, taking it all in. It didn't look very lived in, that was for sure. The only way one could tell the room was inhabited was the very faint scent of Zach's shampoo that hung in the air (spies do NOT wear cologne, not if they want to be trailed). Everything else was neatly tucked away in drawers, out of sight.

That boy always had his secrets. _Even if some of them were plaid and striped and folded neatly in drawers, _I thought as I daringly opened what appeared to be his underwear stash. A giggle escaped my lips as caught sight of a pair decorated with little blue whales. It looked like something only a mother would buy. But as soon as I thought of Zach's mother, I cringed.

Closing the drawer, I walked over to his desk where I began opening one drawer after another. I wasn't sure what I had been searching for, but search on I did. I stopped, however, as soon as I found a little black book buried under a pile of a copy of Liz's Swahili notes. Unconsciously my hands reached for it, and before I could stop myself, I opened it to a random page.

Had I no shame? Sure, I was a spy, but I had morals.

I stood there, torn between a burning curiosity and guilt.

_Oh, what the heck_, I thought, directing my eyes to the pages that lay in my hands.

_Day 98: I couldn't find her. _

_ I._

_ Could._

_ Not._

_ Find._

_ Her._

_ I don't know what to do. I'm going to be blaming myself forever, aren't I? After all, it's all my fault. I couldn't pro—_

My eyes froze when I saw a streak of black where the ink had started to smudge. It was dark and shiny and—

-wet.

It was a tear. _My_ tear.

I took the book and flipped to the last page. I grabbed a pen, and scribbled a way.

.

I don't know how long I was there, but it must have been hours because the sun had now set as I made my way through the halls to the library.

I had left in a hurry, but that wouldn't have stopped Zach from finding out that I had been there.

I could picture him pointing at himself.

"_Spy."_ He would say, upon seeing me.

"Spy" he _did _say.

Zach was there, his voice not three feet behind me.

Who was I? Certainly Cammie, the Chameleon, because she would never have been found, not when she didn't want to. Not now.

"You were in my room," his voice was calm. It wasn't a question.

"Did you find what you were looking for?" he said, walking to face me.

I couldn't say anything. I couldn't look at him. Not when I knew how much I had hurt the boy I loved.

"Because I know very well that when Cam needs answers, she gets them one way or another."

Was he mad? Because thats what it sounded like.

"Oh, you know," I said, pointing at myself, "Spy."

I looked up at him then; at the boy that I loved. I was expecting anger. I was expecting ice. I was expecting anything but what I saw in that moment, which was Zachary Goode, face flushed, and teary-eyed.

I knew what he would say next.

_You needed me_.

I reached for him, and just as my hands found their way to his cheeks, I heard him say the words that broke my heart.

"_I_ needed _you._"

And in that moment, my mind flashed to the little black book, its last page, and my tiny scribble I had left at the bottom. Three words.

_I'm so sorry._

And then I kissed him.


	5. Chapter 5: A Burning Sensation

**A/N: Since this chapter's written in Zach's POV, it's a little shorter than the others so sorry about that!**

* * *

****Zach's POV**

**.  
**

What was happening? It was hard to tell because it happened so fast.

One second Cammie was just a foot away, and the next she was gripping my cheeks, eyes closed, our noses barely touching.

It may have taken a few more milliseconds than it should have, but I felt it.

Her lips were pressing against mine, and I knew that in a second it would be my turn to press back but I didn't.

I couldn't.

In a matter of seconds, I had her pinned against the wall. If I hadn't known any better, I would have thought she had stopped breathing but as a spy, I knew better than to trust just my sight alone.

I leaned in closer, pressing my heart to hers, feeling the steady rise and fall of her chest and her breath on my neck. She was breathing. She was _safe._

She had a calm demeanor, but the pounding of her heart suggested otherwise.

"Cammie," I said, trying to keep my voice as level as possible. I tried staring into her eyes, but she wouldn't look at me.

And in that moment I was angry. How could she think I didn't care? If only she knew how much my arms ached when they were so close to her, yet I couldn't hold her in my arms, or how my lips still burned.

I wanted her so badly, so why was I standing there, doing the one thing I couldn't bear to do most?

_She needs to understand_.

The words cut through my mind like a knife, causing all longing I had to crumble. It was still there, just pushed down to a place where it couldn't interfere with my mission. And as long as it stayed there, as long as I still loved the girl standing in front of me, I would keep it hidden until I knew I could protect her.

There was a long silence before she said, "I need to go tell mom."

"I was wondering why you hadn't gone to see her sooner."

And I guess she was wondering the same thing too, because she paused for a few seconds before she spoke.

"I guess there have just been a lot of—" she looked up at me, "—things that have been on my mind.

And then she took off down the hall towards her mother's office.

I followed.


End file.
